31 Days of Junk: Skeleton Bones Cheese Curls (#30)

Last October (2017), I made it a goal to drink 31 different beers—a new one each day—by the end of the month. Incredibly, I was successful in my attempt, which I dubbed #31FallBeers (look it up on any form of social media!) This year, I wanted to try something similar, but there were two important changes I needed to make. Firstly, I wanted to be able to expound more, so I decided against social media blurbs in favor of long-form posts on my site. Second: it needed to be much, much cheaper than drinking 31 different beers. The result? #31DaysOfJunk. Strap in and hold on tight, and please enjoy this month-long odyssey into the sugary, fatty belly of the autumnal beast.

While these particular treats weren’t the inspiration for this whole crazy “31 Days of Junk” odyssey I’ve been on, they were the first snack I bought after deciding I was gonna take the dive and gorge myself on shit for a month.

I picked them up at World Market, amongst an arrangement of other freshly displayed Halloween treats and decorations. I bought the wax fangs and Pop Rocks I reviewed earlier from this very same section, on the very same day!

I’m not necessarily a baked cheese snack person. Goldfish, Cheez-Its, Cheese Nips, Cheetos, and Cheese Puffs all get a big no from me. Even Planters Cheez Balls and Cheez Curls (though beautifully packaged) do nothing for me. I will occasionally indulge in Cheetos Crunchy Flamin’ Hot Limon, but that’s just ‘cuz I’m a sucker for zesty flavored snacks.

This is all a roundabout way of saying these Skeleton Bone Cheese Curls are not within my wheelhouse of preferred snack. But, they’re still surprisingly tasty. The first whiff of the opened bag is pretty gnarly; pure dog breath. But the curls themselves are more of a gourmet matter. Well, as gourmet as you can get for a cheese curl. They’re made of the same shit Cheetos are (cornmeal), but these have a decidedly heartier crunch to them, and a bit more heft, too. Definitely bigger in size, in general, too.

The white cheddar is an obvious choice (white, like bones!) but also delivers on the gourmet angle. After all, who would make a WHITE CHEDDAR cheese curl? Oh right, the execs at World Market who know their demographic.

My final observance of these bony treats: the white cheddar powder which coats the pieces is just that—super powdery. But I dig it. It’s like someone rolled them around in the powder that comes in a mac and cheese packet. It’s got a little something for everyone—the hoity-toity and the blue collar blue boxers.

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