Last October (2017), I made it a goal to drink 31 different beers—a new one each day—by the end of the month. Incredibly, I was successful in my attempt, which I dubbed #31FallBeers (look it up on any form of social media!) This year, I wanted to try something similar, but there were two important changes I needed to make. Firstly, I wanted to be able to expound more, so I decided against social media blurbs in favor of long-form posts on my site. Second: it needed to be much, much cheaper than drinking 31 different beers. The result? #31DaysOfJunk. Strap in and hold on tight, and please enjoy this month-long odyssey into the sugary, fatty belly of the autumnal beast.
Last September, Blumhouse’s Ryan Turek and Bearded Lady’s Mystic Museum, an oddity shop in Burbank, CA, teamed up to bring Slashback Video—an ode to the mom & pop video shop of yore, specifically their worshipped horror aisles—to screaming, vivid life. It was a massive success, and I was lucky enough to be there opening night. Let me assure you, the second I stepped through the threshold, I was suddenly 8-years-old again—zapped back to the small Midwestern video shops I’d frequent with my parents, and the horror aisles I’d spend the whole time exploring.
Like every great horror film from the ’80s, Slashback needed a sequel, and it got one this year, once again in September. This time, the exhibit had expanded to include laser discs and video games, enhancing its perma-nostalgia vibe.
Quirkily enough, they also released a soda! As I’d been planning to do #31DaysOfJunk for the last few months, I immediately jumped at the chance to include a sugary soft drink based around this museum show I’d enjoyed so much.
The neon yellow color of the soda made me think it would taste like Mountain Dew, obviously. And while the first sniff of the drink had “generic citrus soda” written all over, the taste is something totally different. I’d go as far as to say, “impossible to pinpoint”. Honeydew? That can’t be right, can it? Or like cream soda from another planet. Ultimately, I decided it mostly tasted like one of these popsicles. Remember those? It tastes exactly like how I remember those popsicles tasting.
Super sweet, low carbonation, and to be honest, my tongue is kinda numb after drinking it. Basically, the perfect drink for a Friday night in October of ’89, while laying on your stomach on the living room floor in front of the TV, seeing Halloween II for the first time, edited for content, commercials and all.