“Maniac Cop” (1988) REVIEW

February 18, 2015 Doc Leave a comment

This one has been shit on for years and I really don’t know why. It stars the great Bruce Campbell and the great Tom Atkins and it was directed by William “Maniac” Lustig.

The premise isn’t spectacular, but it’s still creative: a by-the-book cop (Robert “The Chin” Z’Dar) gets jailed on a technicality, and while incarcerated, is attacked by several inmates he helped lock up. Left for dead, he’s removed from the prison and sent to the morgue. Soon after, criminals and bystanders alike are being killed on the streets of New York. When the wife of a young cop (Bruce Campbell) winds up dead, it’s assumed that he’s been doing the killing all along. However, Campbell aims to prove his innocence and find out who has actually been doing the killing. Eventually he uncovers the truth: Z’Dar wasn’t actually killed in prison — just maimed and disfigured — and now he’s out for revenge on everyone.

Sure, the plot has some loopholes, the main one being: he wasn’t killed in prison, he merely had a faint pulse (as admitted by the coroner)…but how come he’s suddenly able to withstand getting shot numerous times, including in the head? Like, did getting jumped in the shower somehow make him supernatural?

Look, you’ll just have to suspend disbelief and roll with it. It’s 80s horror at it’s best: crime, undead cops exacting revenge, and New York – as filthy as ever.

80s & 90s, Reviews

“Nekromantik” (1987) REVIEW

February 18, 2015 Doc Leave a comment

This experiment in exhumation hails from Der Vatherland during the late-80s punk rock horror boom. At the time — and maybe even now, still — it was extremely controversial due to it’s subject matter (corpse-sexing).

A young man works for a body removal unit and it allows him to indulge in his favorite pastime: necrophilia. His girlfriend doesn’t seem to mind much, as she partakes in the ghoulish going-ons. However, the man never seems satisfied, and his icky urges escalate. He loses his job and his girlfriend; soon he begins killing randomly people. The poor guy can’t catch a break.

The movie ends on a bittersweet (?) note as the man is able to achieve his greatest sexual urge while at the same time ending his reign of madness. It’s as jaw-dropping of a scene as they come.

At 75 minutes, the movie flies by. The special effects are nice and sloppy and recall a young Peter Jackson. Enjoy this one with grandma and the kids!

80s & 90s, Reviews

“Pieces” (1982) REVIEW

February 18, 2015 Doc Leave a comment

With slight hints of giallo, this Spanish film feels, at times, like one of its Italian counterparts — what with the mysterious black-gloved madman, befuddled detectives, and the unnecessarily overdubbed American actors — but make no mistake, this gristly, sweaty ‘piece’ of cinema is pure early-80s sleaze.

I don’t know why this film is so overlooked when it comes to great horror. It has all the components of a classic: a chainsaw-wielding psycho attacks innocent girls on a college campus. What more could you ask for? The acting is shoddy and the blood is pure ketchup — everything you could ever want from a great horror film.

80s & 90s, Reviews, Zombies

“Night of the Creeps” (1986) REVIEW

February 18, 2015 Doc Leave a comment

Ho-lee shit this movie is great. It’s so perfect, it’s not even funny. It somehow manages to blend three styles of horror film into one. It takes the 50s B-movie genre, the zombie genre, and the space alien genre and mashes it together into this beautiful, funny, cohesive gem. This is yet another late-80s classic that is very ‘punk rock’ in its execution and isn’t afraid to be funny. That’s the main problem with horror films today — they lack humor.

As I mentioned above, this film somehow manages to bring together three of the most opposite genres perfectly. The first third of the film is in black and white. A couple sits on lovers lane. Over the radio they hear an announcement: a maniac has escaped a hospital for the criminally insane. The girl, scared, wants to go home, but the guy isn’t having it. He leaves to take a leak, and while he’s gone she ends up being slaughtered by the escaped maniac. However, the boyfriend isn’t so safe either, as he discovers a weird canister on the ground from which a leech-like alien jumps out of and into his mouth.

Years later, a young college student falls in love with a girl on campus and decides in order to win her over he must join a frat. As part of his pledge, the young guy has to steal a cadaver from the university medical center cryogenics lab. He and his buddy do so, but little do they know the body they attempt to steal is the corpse of the young man who ate the alien leech many years ago.

You can see where this is going: upon defrosting the body, the leeches reanimate and cause the body to come back to life. The leeches also multiple and spread from person to person, usually by flying from the infected’s mouth into the victim’s mouth. Hell breaks loose on campus and it’s great.

This was directed by Fred “The Monster Squad” Dekker and stars genre staple Tom Atkins. What’s not to love?

60s & 70s, Reviews

“Magic” (1978) REVIEW

February 18, 2015 Doc 2 Comments

I only recently saw this film, but I remember the unforgettable VHS box from when I was a kid: a creepy ventriloquist dummy, with bugling blue eyes and a distorted resemblance to Anthony Hopkins, peering over the simplistic title on the front… Magic.

This is more of a psychological thriller than flat-out horror, but the inclusion of the dummy is what makes it so damn creepy. Anthony Hopkins plays a nervous ventriloquist who is usually at odds with his puppet “Fats”, whether it comes to their performance, fame, or women. It’s this latter element that causes the greatest disruption between Hopkins and the dummy. When Ann-Margret, an old high-school crush of Hopkins’, comes into the picture, Fats becomes increasingly jealous.

This one was directed by Richard Attenborough. You may remember him from Jurassic Park as the jolly John Hammond, coaxing a tiny raptor from it’s egg by repeating “Come on, love. Come on, love.” At least, that’s how I like to remember him.

00 - Current, Reviews

“Eden Lake” (2008) REVIEW

February 18, 2015 Doc Leave a comment

Upon watching this movie, initially I was really afraid it was going to take the easy way out and go down the ‘torture porn’ route, but I was pleasantly surprised when that just happened to just be a fleeting moment in the second act. The movie actually borrows from my favorite genre: the home invasion. However in this case, in an interesting spin, the protagonists in this film are actually the interlopers.

A young couple decide to take a woody retreat one weekend. While on a secluded beach, some loud and thuggish youngsters show up and blast music and let their dog run free. The young couple request that they keep it down and keep the dog leashed, to which the kids reply “you’re on our territory”. Here’s where the reversal comes in. Suddenly it’s the good guys who are invading the bad guys territory. The couple is insistent, but the young punks don’t relent. Soon it escalates well beyond what it should and all fucking hell breaks loose. The movies becomes very bad very quickly.

I really, really, really enjoyed this film. I didn’t know what to expect when I started it, nor did I realize the handsome lead was a pre-fame Michael Fassbender, but the movie is full of surprises, including the ending (which I won’t give away). The movie had me edgy the whole time, wondering what was going to happen next. It also brought to mind something that happens on a daily basis: when do you back down? When do you swallow your pride and move on? I guess you never know until you’re being chased by a group of drugged-up teens.