This is it, you lovesick freakos! February is already upon us and the day of reddening is just around the corner. Personally, I’ve already got my V-Day plans booked (drinking a $4 bottle of wine while staring in the mirror – hey, it’s a tradition!), but for those of you poor saps who are still empty-handed and in need of a little something to tell your significant other just how you feel about them – I’ve got you covered!
As I’ve done for the past few years now, I’ve whipped up a handful of vile valentines for only the most demented of you. I’m talkin’ real sick stuff, folks. You can see the past creations HERE, HERE, and HERE. The best part: they’re free!
So print out as many of ’em on the office printer as you can and share ’em with like-minded maniacs!
When I started Camera Viscera two years ago (time flies when you’re droning on about horror movie memories from your childhood, huh?), I designed a few Valentine’s Day cards (“Vile Valentines”, I dubbed them) and posted them to the site, free to share, email, or print out and trade. That first run only consisted of 11 “cards”. They were neat, but unfortunately I made them very small in size. You can find them all HERE.
The next year, I decided to do it again even though the first batch barely made a blip on anyone’s radar (let alone, CV’s SEO). This subsequent collection proved to be much more successful, thanks mostly to several popular horror sites posting about them and sharing them. I made 16 of ’em that go ’round, and made them 2.5″ x 3.5″ – the size of actual valentines you could buy at the store. You can find those HERE.
And now, here we are, two years later – and I’ve done it again! The designs are similar to what I did last year, with a few minor tweaks. I’ve included all new horror icons – no repeats from any of the prior years – and I’ve upped the stack to the arbitrary number of 22! They’re big, they’re colorful, and they’re dumb – the perfect way to tell someone “I kind of tolerate you”! So share ’em, email ’em, line your bird cage with ’em — just enjoy them!
Aloha, mutants! It’s that time of year once again when couples are forced to spend lots of money on each other while the single folk get to laugh manically whilst eating alone in their dark, empty studio apartments. (More of a laugh-cry, really.) In either case, Valentine’s Day is clearly a holiday for losers.
To help make the day a little more bearable, I’ve whipped up some free valentines for you to share, email, print out, burn, and curse.
I made 11 of these last year (find ’em here), but they ended up being very small in size. This year I upped it to 16 and they’re all much bigger – that way it’s easier to see all the terrible details. Enjoy and share with the one you love hate!
Ah, Christmas: that time of year for long lines at the store, fistfights over parking spots, and crowds of a-holes blocking your path. Thankfully, the internet was invented and online shopping helped change the way we do our holiday purchasing. But somewhere along the way, when we no longer had to set foot in a brick-and-mortar store, we forgot an important aspect of spending money on stuff: supporting local businesses.
So with the big day less than a month away, I thought I’d offer up a few suggestions of hardworking artists — regular Joes and Janes like you and I — people who I’m friends with, have purchased stuff from, or just whose work I just flat out admire. So maybe skip Amazon and give one of these talented folks a shot. Just click them tabs to go to their sites! Continue reading The Camera Viscera XMAS LIST!→
As someone who reviews horror movies on the reg (that’s ‘regular’ for you lame-os out there) it’s really important that I see as many horror movies as I can, whether it be at home or in the theater. However, like most normal civilized human beings I have the typical 40 hour work week with the occasional hobby and scant social interaction tossed into the mix. This means I have to be particularly selective about the movies I do see when I get the chance. I know that doesn’t sound very impartial or objective, but it’s all about logic: I stick to stuff I have a specific interest in (crime, suspense, psychological stuff) and I avoid the shit I hate (hauntings, found footage, mumblegore), and for the most part it works out in my favor; I end up seeing movies that I end up liking. Occasionally I’m thrown a wildcard, like a movie I should like but have reservations about (Cooties, for example), but trusting my gut has never failed me me once and my batting average for “think it looked like crap and, surprise, it ended up being crap” is near flawless. (For those wondering, yes, I ended up watching Cooties despite my better judgment and, of course, I ended up disliking it.) Continue reading “Kristy” (2014) REVIEW→