When you think of the victims in the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, perhaps it’s wheelchair-bound Franklin who you immediately feel the most sorry for. After all, getting bisected by a chainsaw is a hell of a way to go after you’ve spent your life a paraplegic.

But I beg you, the viewer, the thinker, to reconsider. I mean, Franklin kinda had it coming didn’t he? Spittin’ and yowlin’ like a cat for most of the movie. By the end, we welcomed Franklin’s demise because then we the viewer were also spared suffering any longer.

No, I argue it was Jerry who we should feel most sorry for. Forced to drive the long haul across the burning Texas flatlands, Jerry seemed the odd man out. He wasn’t as good looking or well dressed as Kirk, he didn’t have the family bond like Sally and Franklin, and he didn’t have the love connection that Kirk and Pam had. No, all Jerry had was a paisley top, mini ‘fro, and wire-rim glasses — looking something like a young Larry King. Yeesh.

Furthering my point, I provide video evidence of Jerry’s demise in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Listen to his high-pitched scream as he’s about to be sledgehammered. That’s a scream that says “I died a virgin.”

Jerry, we salute you.