As I laid on my couch last night, despondent over Halloween’s ghost quickly disappearing in my rearview mirror, I decided to watch the recently released horror anthology, Tales of Halloween, if only to keep the festive embers glowing just a little bit longer. It wasn’t something I had planned on watching; despite its voluminous cast and the certified Grade A horror pedigree involved, the trailer looked like the typical low-budget shot-on-digital crud that you’d expect to see being funded via Kickstarter. Alas, I was desperate for one last shot of Halloween, so I turned it on. Continue reading “Tales of Halloween” (2015) REVIEW
Category Archives: Reviews
DEATH ROW DINER – 13 Days of Shot on Video! (#1)
With 13 Days of Shot On Video I’ll be reviewing a new shot-on-video horror film every weekday for the last two weeks of October. You can view all entries HERE.
Well, the day has arrived: this is the final entry in my two week-long odyssey into the belly of the bare-bones beast, “13 Days of Shot on Video”. Honestly, it went a lot smoother than I thought it would. It wasn’t until today that I became afraid I wouldn’t make it. I know, it sounds silly to say but I really didn’t think I’d complete my final entry. I can only liken it to what I assume runners experience when they hit “the wall” miles into their marathon, right before they reach the finish line. Not only am I mentally exhausted from churning out a new review (for what are essentially identical movies) everyday for almost two weeks straight, but my tolerance for the camp and low-budget whimsy of these monsters is totally deep-fried. I’m beginning to no longer appreciate their shortcomings, which is unfair to them and makes for an impartial review. I said it before and I’ll say it again: I am in major need of a detox! Continue reading DEATH ROW DINER – 13 Days of Shot on Video! (#1)
BLOOD LAKE – 13 Days of Shot on Video! (#2)
With 13 Days of Shot On Video I’ll be reviewing a new shot-on-video horror film every weekday for the last two weeks of October. You can view all entries HERE.
Despite there not being a whole lot of information about Blood Lake to be found online, the scant reviews I did find on various horror blogs made one thing abundantly clear: people do not like this movie. I must be in the minority, because I didn’t mind it so much!
Blood Lake is almost identical to an earlier SOV release (and one I reviewed at the beginning of my “13 Days of Shot on Video” run), Sledgehammer. Both films see a group of young kids headed to a remote cabin for a weekend getaway filled with drinking, partying, and sex. And naturally, both movies see an evil presence stalking and killing them one by one. Both movies also feature tons of unnecessarily long, drawn out shots that were most likely left unedited to pad out the run time. However, there are certain elements about Blood Lake that give it an edge over Sledgehammer. Continue reading BLOOD LAKE – 13 Days of Shot on Video! (#2)
VENUS FLYTRAP – 13 Days of Shot on Video! (#4)
With 13 Days of Shot On Video I’ll be reviewing a new shot-on-video horror film every weekday for the last two weeks of October. You can view all entries HERE.
I had no idea what to expect going into Venus Flytrap. Not much info exists about it online (no Wikipedia page, a scant IMDB page, and only a handful of horror blogs have reviewed it), and the only reason I happened upon it was because it was included in one of those “buy this group of DVDs together, save this amount of money” type deals when I was adding DVDs to my shopping cart on Amazon. The cover art looked really unique and I don’t think it cost no more than ten bucks, so I thought, what the hell. You only live once, right?
Let me say, I am so happy I took a chance on Venus Flytrap! Continue reading VENUS FLYTRAP – 13 Days of Shot on Video! (#4)
MAD RON’S PREVUES FROM HELL – 13 Days of Shot on Video! (#5)
With 13 Days of Shot On Video I’ll be reviewing a new shot-on-video horror film every weekday for the last two weeks of October. You can view all entries HERE.
Mad Ron’s Prevues From Hell is such a singular, unique film that of course it could only be birthed during the ’80s shot-on-video boom.
In fact, it’s not much of a movie at all: in reality, it’s 90 minutes of exploitation film trailers from the ’60s and ’70s hosted by a man and his zombie puppet. The trailers are film stock, but the interstitial wraparound segments featuring the ventriloquist and his dummy are pure shot-on-video awesomeness. Continue reading MAD RON’S PREVUES FROM HELL – 13 Days of Shot on Video! (#5)
“The Final Girls” (2015) REVIEW
I will be the first to admit, I was not originally on board for The Final Girls. There were a lot of things preventing me from being totally sold: the first trailer I saw for it made it look a little cheap and left a lot to be desired; the last horror comedy I’d watched (Cooties) had been an utter letdown; and the final nail in the coffin? I was reading a lot of glowing reviews for The Final Girls from reviewers who I normally disagree with. The odds were majorly stacked against me enjoying it. And I gotta say: my batting average for ‘thinking a movie looks terrible and it actually ends up being terrible’ is almost flawless, so to say I was hesitant to watch The Finals Girls would be an understatement. Alas, I relented in the name of fairness and objectivity, and I fired up the ol’ Apple TV, paid my $6.99, sat back with a beer and just waited for the awfulness wash over me, allowing me to drown a slow, excruciating death.
But goddamn, I was wrong. A man can admit when he was wrong, and I was wrong. I’ll be the first to admit it.
The Final Girls sees Taissa Farmiga as “Max”, a high school student who’s still coping with the premature death of her actress mother a few years earlier. On the anniversary on her death, Max attends a double-feature of her mom’s movies (“Camp Bloodbath” and “Camp Bloodbath 2: Cruel Summer”) at a local revival theater. Also in attendance are her best friend Gertie (Alia Shawkat), her crush Chris (Alexander Ludwig), her crush’s ex-girlfriend Vicki (Nina Dobrev), and her best friend’s geeky film nerd stepbrother Duncan (Thomas Middleditch), who not only put on the film fest but also invited Max along as the special guest.
A fire breaks out in the theater, and the group of friends tries to escape by cutting through the screen to access a backroom exit. However, when they step through the screen they literally step into the movie. From there, the characters have to figure out how to get back to reality while trying to avoid the killer from Camp Bloodbath. Meanwhile, Max tries to spend as much time with the onscreen incarnation of her mom as she possibly can.
There’s a lot of good stock behind The Final Girls: it was co-written by Joshua John Miller (y’know, Homer from Near Dark. Oh, and also, the son of actor Jason Miller), and it co-stars Adam DeVine and Angela Trimbur. Again, the combination of the trailer and the reviews I’d seen really threw me off — I was convinced this was going to be a huge bomb. But it ended up being really clever, quite funny, and really well-acted.
One of the things I really appreciated about the movie was how it played with its meta material. In lesser hands, I could see the possibilities being squandered for lesser, easier jokes, but The Final Girls never let me down in that department: they kept it intelligent and full of witty, enjoyable surprises.
One thing I will say: I was shocked at just how sentimental it was. I’d read many blurbs from people online saying how touching and tearjerking it was (another thing that dissuaded this cold-hearted monster), and man, they weren’t joking. At times, it was almost too sentimental for me (I already told you, I’m a cold-hearted, soulless monster), but I wouldn’t say it was a blight on the movie necessarily.
Another cool part of the movie is how it’s filmed: lots of kinetic camera movement, lots of dutch angles, lots of zooms, lots of swooping. Lots of super vibrant colors, too. Admittedly, the set pieces can be a little distracting at times; I’m convinced only about 3% of this movie took place on location and the rest was filmed in front of a green screen. (Seriously I didn’t notice one shot in the entire movie that didn’t involve some kind of VFX.) While I did appreciate the overall “final” look of the movie (me funny), I can see how others may find it to be a little much.
In the end I was really surprised — pleasantly so — at how much I ended up enjoying The Final Girls. It’s like a modern day Last Action Hero. It’s like a wonderful mash-up of Popcorn, Groundhog Day, Cabin in the Woods, and — believe it or not — Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Okay, my apologies for just naming a bunch of movies there. Horror, comedy, heartwarming drama, clever meta trope-toying film within a film — whatever your thing is, The Final Girls has got you covered, and I highly recommend it.






