As much as it pains me to say, I feel like I have a lot in common with Scream‘s resident nerd, Randy Meeks (played by Jamie Kennedy). In fact, I kind of consider him a gasp!…choke!…kindred spirit. He’s a high-strung horror fanatic*, the oddest within his friend circle**, who works part-time at a video store*** and bores those around him with his endless pontifications on horror rules and theories****. We’re almost two peas in a pod really. Continue reading HORROR NERD OF THE MONTH: Randy!
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HORROR NERD OF THE MONTH: Richie!
Miles Chapin’s “Richie”, from Tobe Hooper’s The Funhouse, is the perfect embodiment of the troped-out ’80s horror that was happening at the time: he’s a high schooler who looks to be in his late-20s (possibly early-30s); he’s an insufferable WASPy geek, yet has a gorgeous girlfriend; and, despite being a bespectacled lame-o, his best friend is the high school football team’s all-star quarterback, Buzz Dawson. It was the ’80s, baby. It didn’t have to make sense as long as everyone was so obnoxious that you rooted for the bad guy.
Richie is also a wannabe preppy, which makes him even more detestable. Imagine a combination of Tim Matheson’s snarky shit-eating expressions mixed with Harry Anderson’s general punchability, and you’ve got your basic Richie. Every time he opens his mouth, you just know some dumb shit is gonna come out of it. And that’s something that people often fail to realize about geeks: not all of them are smart. Continue reading HORROR NERD OF THE MONTH: Richie!
HORROR NERD OF THE MONTH — Ryan!
The first installment of Horror Nerd of the Month focused on Jerry, a character from the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and here we are, only a handful of months later, and I’m already revisiting the franchise, this time focusing on someone who makes Jerry look like Paul Newman in comparison: Ryan.
We’re first introduced to Ryan whilst on a road trip through Texas with his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, Michelle. From the second we meet his character it is immediately clear that Michelle is totally out of his league. It’s revealed that the reason for their split is she’s attending college out of state and doesn’t want to do the long distance relationship thing…but c’mon – we know why she’s really dumping him: he’s a total lame-o.
Even in death, Ryan is humiliated: while he’s hung upside-down by hooks through his ankles and about to be delivered a deathblow via sledgehammer, two members of the Sawyer clan feel the need to point out his colored undies (“California!”), which is met with laughter from the rest of the demented family. As unsettling of a scene as it is, it confirms a long-held belief: nerds just can’t catch a break.
Ryan, we salute you.
HORROR NERD OF THE MONTH – Bill!
Say what you will about Rob Zombie’s movies, he created a great nerd character in House of 1000 Corpses‘ Bill Hudley. Played by the perfectly cast (and pre-The Office) Rainn Wilson, even Bill’s surname – Hudley – conjures up vivid imagery of a schlubby, Droopy-voiced nobody who perpetually pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a single index finger. I hear the name and I imagine some frump sitting in a work cubicle, staring into space, while his unhappy boss yells from across the office: “Hud-leeeeeey!” But I digress. Continue reading HORROR NERD OF THE MONTH – Bill!